Sunday, November 29, 2015

Baby. Mama.

I have to go back to work on Wednesday and I fear that I'll never have another spare minute ever again. I thought I should write down some of my thoughts as an experienced mother. The best advice I got before having a baby was, "No one knows what they are doing as a parent, so don't feel bad when you feel like that all day every day". That has turned out to be so true and so comforting. There were so many times when I wished someone else could come and tell me what to do, but I have finally learned that I am the best mom for Sloane.

Sloane is such a happy baby. It took me a while to realize that sometimes she was crying because she was tired and not hungry. And now, she pretty much only cries when she is tired or hungry. She is so mellow and content all the time. Some days we push her pretty far, and I think she is going to be so mad/tired/sad, but she is just fine and happy and it's crazy awesome. She is gaining weight so slow and isn't even technically on the charts of percentiles (I guess that means she is a negative percentile for weight). She is still in newborn diapers and clothes! But she is strong and smart and she seems ahead of her age developmentally. She will not take a bottle, loves sucking on her hands, and is totes over being swaddled-she needs her arms free. She is not a fan of the baby wrap. She is LOVING the Christmas tree and gets SO excited when we put her under it. She is pretty independent and loves just chilling by herself on the floor. She just discovered her hands and tongue last week and it is so fun to watch her learn to control them. She can hold her head up like a champ and loves trying to stand up. She is my favorite. 

Look at that face! 

I mean.

See how tiny!

This bear is bigger than her. 

 We were able to bless her during Thanksgiving weekend and it was a great day. Nate gave her the most beautiful blessing and we had lots of family there to support us. She wore the same dress that I wore when I was blessed and she looked super fancy. 

Both families. Mixing. 

(Half of) Nate's fam.

(Most of) My Fam. 

Heeeyyy Brother. 

And now for some cliche crap you hear all the time (But turned out to be really really true)

It is insane how much I love that tiny baby. It makes no sense. If she naps longer than usual, I start to miss her and start watching videos of her on my phone. Sometimes when we are out running errands, I start to miss her because she is clear in the backseat. It's hard to share her with family and friends because I pretty much just always want to be mauling her with love. I'm breaking all the "baby sleep rules" because I just want to hold her and cuddle her all day every day.The amount of anxiety that accompanies motherhood is kinda overwhelming. I do not know what I would do if something happened to her. A few months ago I didn't even know this bebe and now I can't bare the thought of life without her.  It's so annoying how much I love her. I would always roll my eyes when I heard other moms say all the crap I just said, but something weird happens to you when you have a baby, so forgive me for being that mom. 

It's also insane how much more I love Nate. He is the best freaking dad, I can't get over it. I'm way too obsessed with my little family. 

 The thought of going back to work depresses me so bad. On top of all that sadness and stress, the girl who offered to watch Sloane when I go back told me last week that she could no longer do it. It has been a super stressful week trying to find someone I trust enough to take care of her. I thought I had found someone and then I went and met her and found myself disapproving of things I never thought I would have a problem with. I will have to leave her with someone I don't know, there is no way around it and it breaks my heart every time I think about it. The same day someone shared the most devastating article on facebook about a mom who dropped her baby off at daycare for the first time and came back a couple hours later to feed him and he was dead. The first day. I cried my eyes out and little Sloane just smiled at me and made me cry even more. I'm gonna be a wreck and all the men that I work with are not going to know what to do with me. Wish me (and them) luck. 

Monday, November 2, 2015

Four the Love

Last week we celebrated our 4th anniversary. Nate's parents were in town and watched the babe while we went and got a quick dinner, where we pretty much just talked about how cute our baby was the whole time. It's been a great year. I spent almost the entire thing pregnant, but we were still able to have tons of good times. it's been a big year and we have become real life adults with a mortgage and a baby. Here are some of the highlights/favorite memories from this year:
-Nate quit his stupid Color Vibe job and stopped abandoning me. (but then he got a new job and we had to live in different cities, so that was lame. BUT he only worked there for like a month). Finally living together full time is the best! It's so nice to have someone to sleep by and make dinner with.
-Australia was the best thing ever.
--The hotels we stayed in were sometimes disgusting, but Nate kept me calm and comfortable and talked me down when I was freaking about the huge roaches.
--When we went to grocery store and bought so much freaking candy. He gets me.
-Nate reads me Calvin and Hobbes at night and it is the best.
-I joined a dance company and Nate had to convince me every week that I should go and that it would be fun, and that I shouldn't quit. And every time I would come home super happy and so glad that I went. Like I said, he gets me.
-Camping in Bryce Canyon-Nate made the best most delicious dutch oven meals. One night he took one bite and was about to stand up. The bite was really hot so he made the stand up look like he was running around b/c the bite was so hot. (That's a really hard memory to describe and a definite "you had to be there" moment, but I laugh every time I think about it)
-I always use his sunglasses in the car and he would get kinda bugged about it. One night he finally came around and said, "I'd rather have you be happy than me have nice things" Such a good line.
-Boating with Nate's family was so fun. Nate is constantly smiling when he is behind a boat. Like constantly. I asked him why he's so smiley back there and he said he just can't believe he's skipping across the water and not sinking in. It's apparently the happiest thought to him.
-He was so nice to me while I was pregnant. He would fan me all through church because our building was built in the 1600's and has a hard time with A/C.
-We love talking about what sports/hobbies are kids are allowed to play. It's fun that we think we have control over that.

-Buying a house and watching Nate go to town on it. He seriously spends every spare minute he has doing some kinda project, no seconds are wasted. Guys, none.
-While we were watching conference, the rest hymn started up and it was a lot louder than speaker mcgee, and Nate grabbed the remote turned down the volume and said, "Woah, quiet down, we are trying to sleep" So sad, but so true.
-He thinks it's really funny to say something and then as soon as I respond, he says, "I was talking to Sloane" I never know if he's serious or not. At least now I can legitimately ask if he's talking to me.
-He loves weird flavored Fanta. Every time I let him choose the drink (we always share because we're dishonest and cheap like that) he chooses an obscure flavor of Fanta or mixes a few together. I'm not a fan. But I also think it's really funny that that is his wildest drink dream.
-Nate asked me where something was and I said, "In that weird end table by the bed." The next day he came out of the bedroom and said, "Just so you know, that weird end table by the bed is called a nightstand". He teaches me so much.
-Going through labor and recovery really bonds you together. Nate did so much for me during labor and my recovery, I don't think I would have made it without him. You wouldn't believe me if I told you all the things he did for me. Birth is an extremely humbling experience and being that vulnerable was not my favorite. We are about 50X closer after that experience.
-Everyone keeps saying that Sloane looks just like Nate. Every time someone says that he gets a tiny bit worried that he looks like a baby girl. I have to reassure him that he looks like a handsome, rugged manly man.
-Sloane sleeps so much better with Nate than with me. I complain that every time I hold her she just wants to eat. His response was, "It's hard to sleep with snacks laying around in your face." Good point.
-By far the best thing this year has been watching Nate become a dad. It's so magical. He loves his little girl so much, and she is already such a daddy's girl. As soon as he gets home he scoops her up and pretty much cuddles her all night long. He puts her to sleep every night, and every time she wakes up crying from a nap, he rushes to get her and always says, "I want to get her, I want to get her!" He thinks everything she does is hilarious and will sit and watch her for hours. He is the best papa.
One of the best pics I snagged all year. Serious shaving stance.

Nate was sweating because he was in the middle of putting up crown molding and only stopped for 4 seconds to take pictures. Like I said, non-stop working. 

These two are my fave. 

I love this picture so bad. Sloane looks so freaking tiny in his arm.
Happy Anni my love! 

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Story.

Watch out, it's birth story time and therefore the longest post in the history of my life. It's way too detailed but I want to remember all of it, so get over it, or don't read it. Where to even begin? My experience ended up being so different than I ever expected. I had been told by my doctor that I had a "prominent pubic bone" which can make it difficult for the baby to fit through and unless my bones shifted I would most likely be delivering via c section. I found this out toward the end of my pregnancy and was so bummed, but was still optimistic that I would be able to deliver vaginally. I worked hard my entire pregnancy to stay fit and continue to exercise regularly. I had done tons of research about pregnancy and exercise and how it helps you recover so much quicker and makes for a quicker and easier delivery. Some days I didn't want to work out so bad, but that promise of a big pay off would motivate me. I did everything I could to try encourage my bones to shift, so many squats and lunges. At my final appointment my doctor was optimistic too. She said that things didn't feel great, but she had felt worse and had success with them. I was a week overdue and no signs of labor so she decided it was best to induce. I was a little disappointed that my body hadn't figured it out on it's own, but so ready to meet homegirl.

They told me to call at 6 pm on Thursday night and the nurses would tell me when to come. When I called they said they were super busy and it would be a long time before they were ready for me. Finally at 2:30 am they called and said I could come in. Nate and I were so sleepy and the excitement had kinda worn off, but we got dressed and drove to the hospital. They told me to eat something because I wouldn't get to eat during labor and it would most likely be a LONG time so I choked down a piece of toast on the way there. 

Once I got there they said they just wanted to insert a cervix softener to begin with and once things were softened up they would start pitocin. I was told that the softener can take up to 10 hours to do anything and to "try and get some sleep". I understand why they think it's a good idea to get sleep, but seriously, sleep is not going to happen. Aside from the pain, the anticipation of it all = not a wink of sleeping. After about 30 minutes I was starting to feel contractions, they were manageable, but definitely weren't lulling me to sleep. Nate tried to sleep but as the contractions got stronger, he came to my rescue and stayed by my side the rest the time. The nurse came in surprised and excited that I was contracting and checked my progress. I was already at a 2 (I say already because prior to coming in, I was a 0.00). The night went on and the contractions were getting intense, they gave me some pain meds because the anesthesiologist was busy and couldn't get to me for a while. By the time I got the epidural, I was at a 4. The epidural was a dream and I loved the anesthesiologist so much. I watched the contractions on the machine and they huge, going off the charts and I was barely feeling them. 

The nurse came in a short time later and found out I was at an 8. The nurses were all so surprised how quickly my body progressing and that they hadn't even used any pitocin yet. Maybe my body can do this child birth thing. I was starting to feed off their excitement and feeling so proud of my body. I thought all that hard work had paid off and I would be able to deliver vaginally and beat the odds!

The nurses stopped checking on me after that for some reason (I thought 8 was an impressive number, but apparently not). By this time, my mom had made it to the hospital and went to fetch a nurse. They came in and said, "Oh, you're a ten" We can start pushing now. It was so anti-climatic, I didn't really believe her. It had only taken about 7-8 hours to progress from a 0 to a 10, so I was so surprised when it was already time to push. I pushed and pushed for a good 2+ hours. The doctor came in and assessed the situation, she said she'd give a little more time, but if the baby didn't descend more, she'd do a c-section. I was sure I had it. The pushing had been hard, but I could keep going, I still had energy and was feeling pretty good. I pushed so hard. I was in control and if I just pushed hard enough I could avoid a c-section. 

The doctor came back in and casually said, "It's not gonna happen, we need to do a c section". I. lost. it. But what about my awesome progress? I thought my body was finally ready. They didn't even have to use pitocin! All the excitement and hope that had been building during labor came crashing down. The possibility of a c-section was made clear to me many times, but I never thought it would actually have to happen, because I was doing everything I could to avoid it. I felt so helpless. As I laid there bawling, I looked over to see that Nate and my sweet mom weren't taking the news too well either.

The anesthesiologist came in and pumped me full of SO many drugs, they transferred me to a different bed and rolled me into the OR. It's a scary feeling being wheeled into surgery. My body was SO numb. I realized at this point that I could have been feeling a lot less pain during the pushing sesh, and maybe should have upped my epidural dosage. They plopped me onto the operating table and started introducing me to fifty different people. The room filled up with a million busy bodies and before I knew it the doctor was telling me that she was cutting me open. C-sections are insane. They take out body parts, and slice through your stomach muscles. It's a pretty traumatic/gory experience. Once they had reached the baby, the doc told me she was stuck in there real good. I had pushed so hard that she got wedged in. She had to tug and tug to get her out. I felt her push up against me to get leverage. I couldn't feel anything besides my head really, but I could tell I was being jostled quite violently as two doctors tried to pry her out.

Finally, at 3:29 PM she came out and I heard her adorable little cry. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. I tried to see her, but the nurses were blocking my view. A few seconds after they got her out I started getting really sick, and I couldn't even think about my baby anymore. I started freaking and started gagging and dry heaving and the anesthesiologist was right there pumping me full of something to take away the nausea. A few seconds after that came the hyperventilating, I could not breath and felt like I was gonna die. Again, my good buddy was there pumping in something to relax me. I finally felt okay enough to look over and see me beautiful little girl. Finally, I got to hold her. She was perfect. She had a red mark on her face from being wedged in my bones for so long.

All the doctors agreed that there was no way she could have fit. If I had given birth back in the day, me and baby most likely would have died. She was only 6 pounds and had a tiny little head and she still couldn't fit. This means the rest of my births will have to be c-sections, terrible terrible news.

I got to hold her for a little while in the recovery room and breastfeed for a minute. It was great, but I was so drugged that I was kinda out of it. I had also started getting the shakes and couldn't hold her very well. The entire rest of the day and night I had quite violent body shakes, they were exhausting.

Sloane Kay Christiansen. 
6 lbs 3 oz. 19 in.

The next few days were some of the worst of my life. I was exhausted, but couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. My body hurt and I couldn't get out of bed. I have never been so immobile or unable to function in my life, and I had a baby to keep alive. I was pretty emotional because of the whole ordeal and felt so defeated. When the nurse came in the next day to take out the catheter I bawled and begged her to keep it in. She looked at me like I was crazy and said she would give me a couple more hours. I couldn't imagine getting out of bed, let alone getting out multiple times to go to the bathroom. I had no appetite but was so hungry. The nurses told me I shouldn't eat anything more than chicken broth for a little while because my system was going to be screwed up for a while. Another weird thing that happens with c-sections is you get extremely painful gas. Air gets trapped inside you when you're all opened up to the world and then closed back up. And since you aren't moving it doesn't really get worked out, it just sits and causes so so much pain.

The nurse came in and took out my catheter and told me to tell her when I was ready to go to the bathroom. Getting up for the first time was terrible. I cried and cried partly because it was so painful and partly because I felt completely hopeless and felt like I would never be "normal" again. Progress was so slow. It was probably the most hopeless I've ever felt.

I was forced to get up and walk the halls. I couldn't stand up straight because it tugged on my incision and hurt too bad, so I had to walk around hunched over. My legs were super weak and shaky. Needless to say I was quite the sight to see walking those hallways. I think the hardest part was seeing the other women who were all recovering from a vaginal delivery. They looked so normal and great. They were up and walking around in normal clothes and holding their babies. I cried when I got back to my room because I was so jealous and angry. It felt like I would never be back to normal.

Nate was so great the whole time. Every time I had a break down, he was there telling me how proud he was and how awesome I was doing. He had some amazing pep talks that usually just made me more emotional because they were so nice. I tried so hard to find things to be grateful for which was really hard but once I switched my focus, I realized how pessimistic and ungrateful I was being. Even though I still had some breakdowns and dark times, I was able to (mostly) focus on the positive. Most importantly my baby girl was safe and healthy. I found myself saying prayers of thanks for my C-section, which seemed insane. Because of modern medicine and (gruesome) c-sections I am able to be a mom and have a family, which would not have been possible years ago. Things could have been so much worse and I am so thankful for my birth experience.

Congratulations if you made it through that dramatic pity party. Here is your reward, the cutest baby.

Motherhood is rocking my world. I love this little babe so bad. She was worth all the terror of pregnancy and birth. 

Friday, August 28, 2015

Pregnancy: TMI.

Not gross TMI, just TMI! 
38 Weeks, 2 more weeks to go!
-Feeling huge. 
-No strangers have touched or asked to touch my belly, which I was told would happen ALL the time. I either look really unapproachable and rude or people don't know I'm pregnant and just think I've got a super weird body. Either way, I'm more than okay with it.
 -My dreams are getting really weird and intense. But I'm sleeping great (because I know, I know, I will never ever sleep again after the baby is born. I know!)
-Stretch Marks are coming in hot. I was seriously depressed about this when they started and still sometimes get sad about it, but there are worse things. My pregnancy has been so great and relatively painless, so I guess I can suck it up. It'll just make me more "real" when I start my Mommy Fitness Blog- coming soon!
-My wedding ring still fits, which I'm told is kinda a big deal.
-Still "running" (somehow). It's more of a (very) light jog at this point. Trying my best to jostle this girl down, but she is not having it.
-My doc so lovingly tells me at my appts that "she's still way up there". Nate and I decided that she's too comfortable in there, so we've been coming up with ways to make her uncomfortable. We blasted some music on our drive home the other night, and she wasn't a fan! (Or she loved and was dancing, she's so hard to understand sometimes). My doc also tells me that my bones are not in an ideal position and could get in the way, so to be prepared for a possible c-section. This threw me into a frenzy of reading material which ended with downloading a sample of hypnobirthing-which I'm simultaneously 100% on board with and 100% doubtful of. I have to stop sometimes and remind myself that I get a baby out of this and she will be my daughter. I am so excited! Just gotta keep my eye on the prize. Anyway, pray for my bones to shift, please.

My sweet co-workers threw me a baby shower a couple weeks ago. They rented a room Element's (a fancy restaurant up here) and I didn't know how to tell them that no one at work likes (or knows) me well enough to come. I have a hard time making girl friends, so most of my buddies when I was on the call floor were boys and then I moved to my new position and now no one even knows I exist. So, needless to say, I was a little worried about attendance and I was pre-embarrassed by the fact that no one showed up. I even suggested putting something on the invitation like, "you don't have to bring a gift, just come". But, you guys! People came. And they were so nice it made me want to cry a little bit. It was an intimate little party, but I love all the ladies who came and I realized that maybe I'm not as bad at making girlfriends as I thought. 

I was really hoping for a ward shower, but it didn't look like it was gonna happen because no one was offering and as it turns out, I do have too much pride to beg for one. Then one day my mom called me and told me that sweet, angelic Brooke wanted to throw me one. Brooke is my second mom and has always been WAY too nice to me. I really did nothing to deserve such kindness. She took care of everything in like 1 day and it was such a fun shower. I invited a lot of the "old timers" from our old and ward and it was so fun to see everyone (even if one of them did get me sick, I'm over it). One of the best parts was when Troy came home from fishing and politely nodded at everyone, and then when he saw me he wrapped me up in a big bear hug. That family is my favorite and I won lottery by getting an "in" with them.
The only pictures I got at the shower because I was having way too much fun to think about pictures! 

Everyone who came was so wonderful, there was no one there I didn't want there, or that was awkward to talk to. Kristy told a disgusting breastfeeding story and I got the pleasure of watching Mckay listen to that story. Jann was on one, made the card out to Lindsay's baby and got me an & sign because "I like those". Deanna asked me if I had already had the baby because she "didn't notice my belly". Michael sent a "gift" with Kim that was the best and no one understood why or what was going on. Mckay ate Frampton mom's hair. RaVoe told Lindsay she hasn't seen her for 10 years and Lindsay spent the rest of the shower trying to prove her wrong. I wish I would have gotten a picture with everyone that came, my heart was so happy. Plus, the best is I didn't even get "hot face" or "rash neck" which is super uncommon in a setting like that. 

Here's some progress pics. Things aren't changing too much these days... (or maybe I'm just kidding myself) 

So... As the misery sets in, I'd like to take a minute and list all the awesome things about pregnancy:
-No periods. The other day, I remembered that those were a thing and I got depressed.
-My hair has been AMAZING. I used to lose a lot every time I showered or brushed it, now I lose maybe a hair or two. I know I'll start balding soon, but it's been so nice to have such thick locks. 
-My skin has been great. I haven't had a zit in months-WHA?
-I'm ridiculously proud of any workout that I do.
-I used to try and hide my (what I thought was fat) belly in my clothes, and now I get to accentuate it. It's been a game changer while shopping. Things I would usually avoid because they would be too clingy around the waist, bring it on!
-The ladies at work compliment me every day and make me feel like a million bucks!
-I love feeling homegirl moving around inside me. When she first started it made me feel pretty weird, but now I love it and I might miss it just a little.
-It's been so fun to be pregnant with so many of my friends and family. It seriously bonds you together. Can't wait to be part of the mom club now!

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Camping and Other Fun

We went to Nate's family camp at the end of July. I was kinda worried about being miserable, sleeping on the ground, needing to pee 3-4 times a night (not exaggerating) and being hot. But it turned out to be pretty great. We brought our double decker airbed and I was living large! I may never go back to sleeping on my regular pad. I successfully timed my water consumption, and didn't drink anything after like 3pm. Only had to pee once each night-literal miracle. And a cold front moved in right when we got there, so it was actually a little chilly the whole time. Being bundled up in a hoodie and blankets was the most heavenly thing. I cannot wait for Fall!

We played lots of games, ate tons of food and chatted it up all week. Nate and I thought it would be fun to start a new game and got super excited the night before as we got everything ready for it. We stole the idea from Jimmy Fallon, it's the game called Box of Lies. If you've never seen it, here's a little clip. We gathered up tons of objects and grouped them together as cleverly as possible. We were seriously so excited to try it out. We explained the rules and we went first, (Nate's mom gathered our objects, she was also very excited about it). And after all the build up and excitement, no one cared about the game. A couple of them tried it, but didn't quite grasp the concept, so it just ended up being really lame. Like 5 minutes in, they were all starting the game Headbandz. It was disappointing on so many levels. First, we took a lot of time to carefully think out all our objects and some of them were so fun! (Nate even carved a bar of soap into the word "poo". Hilarious right?) And only about 5 of our boxes were seen. Secondly, our game was getting up staged by Headbandz? Give me a break. Here a few of the pics I got (when I was still super excited about it) before the short lived game ended.

 Nate and I were so bummed afterward we just went and cleaned dutch ovens and complained to each other. We'll have to try the game again with a different group. And less children. The kids loved it, but they had no idea what they were doing so they would just show the other person their object. Not the point, kids! We only sulked for a little bit and then joined back in the fun. 

Nate's sister just recently bought a boat, so we all went down to Deer Creek for a day on the lake. Nate's family is not a boat family, so it was fun to see some of them trying things for the first time. I was so sad that I couldn't do anything behind the boat, but I did go for a nice little swim (and almost didn't make it back it the boat). 

Nate wakeboarding like a boss.
 His family thought he was THE coolest because he could wakeboard and ski. At one point we drove past the beach where everyone was and Nate dropped the rope right in front of them and skied up to the beach. You would have thought he had just won the Olympics by the way they reacted. They were cheering and freaking out about how awesome it was. He felt pretty good about himself the rest the day! 

It was a pretty day, but a little chilly and the water was cold enough to take your breath away just a little. 

After a super long day on the boat, we headed for home because I had to work the next day. But remember when I said "we"? Nate just landed a much better job in Millville (5 minutes from Logan) so we totally live together on a full time basis now! His other job ended up being not at all what they had talked about during the interview process, and he was so ready to be done! His new job is going much better already. And we just found out that he beat out a grad student for the position, so he's pretty cool.

Living together is the best thing ever! We can take each other for granted again, and it's such a relief. Being SO grateful for the time we had together was getting exhausting. JK (Kind of). 

I feel a lot more at ease about baby girl coming now that I have Nate around more. Now we just need to kick their bonding time into high gear! At this point, she is probably more familiar with Chris Harrison's voice than her own father. JK guys! (Mostly). 

We got to go the Days of '47 Rodeo on Pioneer Day. We got VIP tickets to the never-ending ribs, brisket and pulled pork dinner before the rodeo started. We were so anxious to get there and stuff our faces that we got a speeding ticket, oops! After the delicious food, we had the most perfect seats, right in front, but not on the ground. I love this rodeo, everything moves so quick and and all the competitors are awesome. 

Our newest little niece was born in July. She already loves her (unborn) cousin, they had their first little sleepover on my belly. It's hard to believe that I'll have my own little babe soon! 

The Tour of Utah set up shop right on our road. They set up last Sunday while we were at church and when we came out we were blocked from our house. We had to disassemble the barricades for a minute to get home. It was madness when things started, but so fun to watch the riders come though and pass our house. 

Friday night we went to the fair because Nate is happiest when he has cotton candy. And also ,there  was an elephant there that you could ride. We opted out because it was the humane thing to do, and also (mostly) because it was outrageously priced. That's about all there is to say right now. 

A post strictly dedicated to pregnancy updates will most likely be coming soon. But no promises.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The countdown is on!

Every time I do a life update, I feel like I have to do a pregnancy update too. It's kinda stressful, but this pregnancy is flying by and I might want to remember it someday. I cannot believe I'm already in the 3rd trimester. I still feel SO unprepared.  Everyday I tell myself to read something to prepare for baby, but I won't. It's really gonna be really annoying to not know anything, but I really can't make myself. All the good parents are just winging it, right?

Here's some pics. For some reason I keep taking them right before I go work out, so just excuse the worky-outness.

29 Weeks.

30 Weeks. 4th of July- After the BBQ. It makes a difference people.

31 weeks. 
Yikes. Sometimes I can't believe that is actually attached to me. The scariest thought of all is that I still have 9 weeks left to grow. But the thought that's even a little more scary is that in 9 weeks I will have a little baby to take care of.

I have been mostly feeling awesome. I've been able to continue working out a lot, which I am so happy about. For some sick reason running is getting easier. I have been able to log way more miles than I ever expected. Every time I go, I think (and secretly hope) this will probably be the last time, but then I feel great and know that I'll be doing it again. Honestly, the hardest part is trying not to pee my pants. No matter how recently I went to the bathroom, I run 3 steps and my bladder feels like it is filled to 100% capacity. I have to focus really hard on not peeing which could be why it's getting easier to do the actual running because I am SO distracted that I have no idea what the rest of my body is doing. Maybe I'm not even running-that would definitely explain why it's gotten easier.  I came home from running the river trail on Friday and Nate said, "People must lose their minds when they see you running". Which I chose to interpret that as, "You are so awesome, people are jealous" instead of "You are so huge, it must inconceivable to people that you are running". Pretty sure he meant the first one. Pregnancy is awesome because you have really low expectations for yourself so when you exceed them, you feel like a warrior.

And now for some FAQ's:

-Still nothing really consistent. All these fake holidays though (i.e. Donut day, Fry day, Ice cream day) sure make it hard. All I really need is to see a picture of something yummy and then I want it. Bad. Cut it out with the fake food holidays already.

-Heartburn is real and should not be underestimated. People keep saying heartburn means your baby will have lots of hair. That better be true.
-I cannot sit all day anymore. My legs get pretty restless and itchy and I get really ornery.
-Sleep troubles are starting. Uh Oh!
-I don't know if it's a "symptom" or not, but this girl has been outta control lately. She is moving constantly, I swear she never sleeps. She's going to be exhausted when she gets outta there. She is always moving but it's always gentle, she rarely jabs me or kicks me hard, she is such a sweetheart.

What am I missing?
-Laying on my stomach. I miss it so bad.
-Not being stared at. People are so not subtle about looking at my belly. It's not on purpose, I don't think they realize they are doing it, but it's still annoying. I really hope I wasn't one of those people who stared so hard, but now I'm worried I might have been.

Stretch marks? Not yet, but there's a good chance they could be starting soon. Either that or I had some weird clothing lines going on.

Weight gain? Nunya. I will say that it's hasn't been as much as I was expecting. Some weeks I don't gain any but my belly still grows an inch, so I'm very confused. Weight seems to mean nothing. Or my scale is broken.

Measuring? Ahead. My OB says she'll most likely be on the bigger side, so she probably got the huge head gene from the Cogs.

My belly button is seconds away from popping outward and it is freaking me out. It feels so weird, I try to ignore it, but it will not be ignored.

We still need so much stuff for this baby. It's a little overwhelming. I'm hoping that if I go flaunt this belly at my home ward, they will be so overwhelmed by my mothering glow, that they'll throw me an awesome shower and buy me all the things. Here's to hoping! I did have an awesome shower with all my aunts and cousins and got some fun things, but only a few of the necessities. The way things are going, I'm guessing I'll wait until we're on our way to the hospital and then I'll finally think about buying some diapers and probably do a huge Amazon order.

That's probably enough ranting and run-on sentences for one post.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Cogs do Zion.

The family LaCognata family reunion was this year. New shirts. New place. Same old antics. We decided to go to Zion and my dad got some ridiculous hook up at the Zion Ponderosa Ranch. We got to stay in a super huge, nice house fo free. All the couches were reallllly comfortable. It's really important that you know that. So...yeah. 

The first day we got there at about 3:45 and couldn't check in until 4, and they sure were sticklers about that. We got to the house and unloaded enough crap to stay for 5 weeks and then started making dinner. After dinner, Jaundice (our nickname for my father if you didn't know that already) started feeling really sick but no one knew it because he went and hid in his room. After a while my mom found him and he confessed that he was in a lot of pain. We all debated and discussed what to do for a while before deciding to take him to the nearest hospital. Which is really far away. Turns out he had a kidney stone, they sent him back with some meds and the trip was off to a great start! We still aren't sure if he faked the whole thing just so he wouldn't have to hike. He still hasn't passed the stone, so it's not that unbelievable. 

The next day we went and hiked the river trail and all the cool people continued on to do some of the narrows. Jay to kay, there were a couple cool people that didn't go and sacrificed to watch the littlest people in the crew. 

We didn't go the whole way, because of time and the little people mentioned above. Once we got going it was so great, I didn't want to stop and turn back. The water was perfect, so refreshing and it was so fun. Someday I will go back and do the whole thing. Here's way too many pics of the adventure. 

Starting the narrows. There were eleven hundred thousand people there and it was cray. 

Brandon and Kim.

The Cogs.

Averi is the best. She is so adventurous and up for anything. She always took the route with the deepest water and loved every second. 

28 week belly. 

Averi's walking stick. 

These guys. Brandon's shorts make Mike's look so short. And they were. But not that short. 

Me and Brand. That cold water was a dream. I think baby girl liked it too. 

All Most the cool people

That night we went and swam at the pool and played on the slide. That's all the kids wanted to do all day, even though we were swimming in the river at the exact time they were saying such things. "I just want to go back so we can swim" Said as they bob up and down in the water. Kids are so confused. 
 The pool water was colder than the freaking river water and it wasn't that relaxing. But it was fun to watch everyone go down the slide. Especially Peg, she was supes dramatic. 
Nate and Brandon train. 

 Twin Train.

The next day we were all about seizing the day and getting into the park early enough that we wouldn't have to ride the stupid shuttle for hours. We decided to to the overlook trail. It was super short and not too hard and the view was pretty awesome. 

Apparently I think my belly is way bigger than it is and feel it necessary to stand like a turd.

Luckily Kim zoomed in and got this pic. She really knows how to help a sister out. 

See how nice the house was! This is the only picture I got of the place, but I think you can tell how luxurious it was. And before you get all judgmental and say, "but there's a lamp on the floor!!", just know that there used to be a table there. We needed it so we could all eat together in the blinding dining room. 

After the hike we came back to the house and hung out and ate muddy buddies. We finally ventured over to the resort to use up some vouchers. They had all these different activities like horseback riding, zipline, trampoline thing, rock climbing etc. Most of the kids were loving life, but some of them were the most miserable they've ever been. It was mostly sad to watch.

Nate was forced to go on the zipline. Even though he said it was too much of a hassle (putting on the harness, etc) he still had fun. I couldn't do anything cool because pregnant people aren't allowed to have fun.

Here's the sunset the last night we were there.

That night we had to do a team building/getting to know game that everyone had a real bad attitude about. Can't even remember whose idea it was. JK! My dad made sure and mention it was my mom's idea 42 times. He acted like he didn't like it but he was lovvving every second. We had to fill in 4 squares with different things from a list, i.e. dream job, favorite vacation spot, childhood memory. Jaundice filled his squares to capacity. When it was time for show and tell, it took him a loong time to explain everything. When he finished his first square, Peg said, "Was that only one square?!" Hopefully they learned their lesson and they don't get the courage to try something like for a few more years.

Some other memorable mentions:
-Mike lost his house key within minutes of entering the house. He was too scared to tell my dad, so everyone else knew about it and casually (sometimes frantically) looked for it the whole time. When it was time to leave, Mike finally came clean. Turns out my dad had picked up the key and had it the entire time. Good one dad! 
-Peg's mystery person assignment for thoughts before meals. 
-The s'more fiasco of 2015. We made s'mores and within a matter of minutes all H broke lose. I have never witnessed more chaos in a short period of time. Averi spilled chocolate all over her brand new dress, Baxter peed on the floor, Troy promptly ran through it and tracked it all over the house. Someone had a bloody nose, Henry was freaking out and screaming, Sienna was probably crying and I was standing there in complete disbelief. It was shocking and terrifying and I about called it a night and went to bed. Lesson learned: no more s'mores. Ever.